Magical life lessons

When you approach life with an open mind and an open heart, wonderful things can happen. It also helps to be able to laugh at yourself. The following experience helped me to step back from the mundane, everyday details of my life and to get a new perspective.

It all started with a simple, yet unexpected email. “Hi Nancy, do you remember me from business school?” He had me hooked and laughing already. As one of my closest friends from school, how could I forget him, even though we hadn’t seen each other since then?

He frequently travels to Boston for business, so we made plans to meet for lunch. Well, you would have thought I’d never met anyone for lunch before. I’m thinking:

“Oh my gosh, what should I wear? What will we talk about? Am I regressing back to high school or what?”

He was a good buddy, nothing more. That was the social life back in grad school and for those first few years out of school. Who had the time, inclination or energy for anything else? He was a true friend though, one who always encouraged me and believed in me. So now, why am I obsessing about what he’ll think of me?

The lunch day arrives and I ask my husband if my outfit looks okay. He nods, while continuing to stare at his computer screen, and says:

“Oh yeah, you look fine, uh very conservative. Actually you look kind of like a nun.”

I’m thinking:

“Well, so much for the sophisticated, urban look I was attempting. And, why do I even care how I look?”

At the restaurant, I’m now wondering:

“How will I recognize him? Oh wait, he’ll know me. After all, he found me when a Google search turned up my DWC Plus profile, so he knows what I look like. How shall I greet him, shake hands, hug? And, why am I spending time thinking about this?”

Way back when, we’d greet each other with a nod and a “hey.” I go with a hug; after all, that’s how I greet all my friends these days.

He greets me with a “Wow, you look great.” Okay, I’ll admit it; flattery is nice, even coming from an old friend. But then again, I’m now wearing makeup, nice clothes and have my hair styled. What a change from my grad school days of jeans, t-shirts, short hair, no makeup, dark circles under the eyes and a steady diet of caffeine and candy. I would hope things have improved, in spite of a few more wrinkles.

Lunch was a blast; it was as though 20+ years hadn’t passed. We spent several hours laughing over the “good old days” and getting caught up with our lives. What do you say when someone asks you, “So, what have you been doing over the past 20 years?”

He’s a very successful investment banker, happily married, with four great kids. My path is quite different, but I’m very comfortable with my choices and no longer feel embarrassed when I can’t claim CEO status, like so many of my business school classmates. As I went through the story of my life, he was a careful listener, encouraging and optimistic, just like the old days. I actually felt proud and happy to talk about what I’ve accomplished.

I was reminded again of why we became friends way back when; a true friend is someone who can make a real difference in your life; one who can be happy for you; and one who can bring out the best in you.

It was great to re-connect with him. More importantly, this lunch brought back memories of my grad school outlook that life is filled with possibilities and that I can do anything I set my mind to. He reminded me that this is still true. I was also reminded that bonds of true friendship can’t be broken by time or circumstances. Needless to say, we're not waiting another 20 years before we meet again.  What magical lessons learned as I start this next phase of my life and my career.

Nancy Loderick

Comments

[Diane K. Danielson]

Nancy - I think you should keep on writing. Fabulous post. I do love hearing from people who have come back into my life through LinkedIn, Facebook, and Downtown Women's Club. (Even heard from an ex-boyfriend last night!) And, yes, I can't wait to see what you do in your next 20 years.

Diane

[Deborah Brody]

I agree! A true friend ALWAYS brings out the best in you and makes you feel supported. This is why it is easy to reconnect with true friends, no matter how much time has passed. Thank you for sharing your story.

[Nancy Loderick]

Diane - thanks. I love writing, and certainly not just about technical stuff! If anything, I'll be writing more.

Deborah - true friends and the support they offer are priceless. I don't know what I would have done without them over the years. I'm so grateful this friend is back in my life, although it feels like he never left.

[Patricia]

Great post and so true! Family members can be a good support, but true friends are even better, I think. We can choose our friends and I try to choose friends that have a positive influcence on me.

[Lisa]

There is something so special about old friends. No matter how much time has gone by, or what has happened in my life, I find spending time with my old friends invigorates me like nothing else. Thanks for writing about a subject that resonates with a lot of us.

[Nancy Loderick]

Patricia and Lisa, thanks for your comments and your thoughts about old friends. They really do have a special place in our hearts, don't they?