Managing women, the Mad Men way

I never know whether to be happy or annoyed that there are still articles being written with titles like "Manage Women: How to" that includes information like:

If you only do five things (when managing women):

1. Avoid patronising
2. Build up their confidence
3. Be sensitive
4. Look for their potential
5. Be flexible

After reading this list, I felt like a secretary in the show, Mad Men (thanks to @lindseypollak for turning me on to this great show), because that list/article seemed straight out of the 1950s.  Yes, it was clearly needed back then, but now?

Really, is there a list for managing men that reads differently, like:

If you only do five things (when managing men):

1. Patronize them so they feel inferior.
2. Crush their confidence on a daily basis so they know whose boss.
3. Feelings?  Isn't that a song from the seventies?  Pshaw ... Don't consider your employees have them.
4. Assume they have no potential so just ignore them.
5. Be stubborn. Never give in or consider other options. You're the boss, so you must be right.

My guess is that this is not how men treat each other.  And, I do realize the article was trying to make a point and in many workplaces we're still not being treated equally.  But, I feel that as long as women are asking for "special" treatment (or pointing out to men that we need to be treated differently than men) then we are never going to be equal.    

I know a few of my readers may disagree with me, so I want to hear what others think.  Do you like books, articles, etc. that teach businesses to treat women differently or not?

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Diane K. Danielson, ceo, www.DowntownWomensClub.com.

 

Comments

[Dani Nordin]

actually, I'm there with you. I hate the idea that women have to have "different rules" than men - especially that specific list. I want to be known for my strength, talent and expertise - not as being someone so delicate that I require special care and feeding.

[Susan Hammond]

I would agree with Diane and Dani.

[Julia Tanen]

I have to be honest. I have managed both men and women. They have different styles. Women are not men; men are not women. I find men easier to manage sometimes; and other times women are easier. There are pros and cons to both.

I managed two teams for five yers as a director at a large real estate firm in New York. One was all women, who wrote proposals and publicity materials. The other was a graphics team who designed the shells for the proposals -- that was a team that had both men and women. Both worked well, but when managing them as a group I had to be sensitive to who was in my audience.

But the bottom line is -- don't go macro. This micro. You need to get to know and honor the individual, take into account whether they are male or female, but really get to know them beyond that.

I think we need to get away from 'managing men' and 'managing women'. Yes it is a factor. But once you get to know how an individual ticks, what excites them, what makes them happy on a daily basis, you are on a better track toward managing them to their own level of excellence.

Learning to listen is one of the hardest--and most challenging ongoing skills you can aquire in business management. No ever gets that one right, but it's one of the most important skills of all. Getting to know who you are managing as a human being -- not just whether they are a man or a woman -- is the first step.

Was that book written by a man, or what?

[Diane K. Danielson]

@Julia - the article and the book it was based on were both written by women.

Is anyone out there watching Mad Men, I have to admit it gave me pause and appreciation for how far women have come in the office.

Diane

[Chip N Inn]

I've managed men and women too, for a long, long time. I agree with Susan about the need to respond to individuals as you find them, but would bypass the temptation to generalize about men and women toward that end.

Women are stereotyped about needing more intensively positive feedback, but I think the women who are most this way are sometimes the ones who gain the most by being treated 'like a man'.

So I'm really with Diane's original premise.

[Christine Radice]

I find articles and books about treating women differently tend to focus on acknowledging that women are human beings and would benefit from positive feedback, work/life flexibility, etc. Wouldn't these same things benefit men as well? Rather than emphasize women needing special treatment, why not allow these "humanizing" efforts to extend to male employees as well?

[Lisa Schaefer]

Something that really irks me is when women expect to be treated differently because they're moms. Too many women are still choosing to micromanage their kids. The men don't abandon their work when they have kids. Because they know their wives will take over that stuff. And too many women still think they have to have babies because, that's what good little women do. That's their job.
--Just wanted to put that out there for comment. I read so much about working moms, but what about working dads, or working non-parents who have to work with these working moms, and how many of these women really wanted to be working moms vs. trying to fulfill what society expects of them?

[Linda Merrill from ::Surroundings::]

I'm loving Mad Men, Diane! And I agree with Julia (I think) - if you're a manager, you need to manage your staff as individuals. I've managed both men and women and each had very different and unique qualities. There were women who were distant and not at all interested in getting personal and there were men who were warm and caring. All were smart, educated and interested in doing a good job.

I would also agree with whoever mentioned the "mommy" management issue. While we should support women (and men, really) who have child care needs that need to be taken into consideration, it shouldn't necessarily be on the back of the single or childless in the office. I had a single guy friend who ended up having to take on the more day to day duties (thus taking on lower level tasks) for a co-worker who had had a baby and wanted to work at home a couple days a week. Some parts of her job that required her to be on the job site had to be shifted to my friend (they were equal on the staff) and she ended up with less work and more interesting work. He commented at the time that he wondered if he had wanted to work at home in order to care for his aging parents, would he have had the same level of support.

[Sybil]

What timing on this subject. I was at my desk while a male manager slowly and rather LOUDLY ate away at a woman's confidence today. He is reading a book on coaching and I was thinking that instead of reading it he sould eat the book! He might digest some of the information because at this point, his absorbation rate by reading the information on coaching is zero... Thanks for the great read! I'm going to share with my co-worker so she can at least have a good solid laugh vs. a cry!

[Mary (DWC Worcester)]

I know that you posted this question back in July Diane, but I was revisiting the site today, and in lieu of this morning's news and this past week's news regarding the announcement of Alaska's Governor as Vice Presidential nominee to John McCain. I'm only sure that Women are clearly divided on the roles women play in our society, it's no wonder that books continue to be written from differing points of view.
I agree with Julia, that each individual be treated as such. I applaud the courage to conquer the "mommy" question. I often wish that we were more like Finland...they don't even have pronouns for he/she, and men get as much time to be with children as women. We could take a lesson from them there! If you listen to the rebroadcast of NPR, I'm wondering if you will be as amazed as I what some women will criticize when it comes to the Republican Vice Presidential nominee. Has any man ever been expected to stay home with their children??? I'm left with more questions. How do we expect others to treat us, and write to and about us equally when we can't find parity ourselves?

[Diane K. Danielson]

@Mary - Yes. Great points. Step one is letting women make life choices without condemnation from their own gender. If we can start doing that I suspect the men will follow suit. I'm appalled by the women turning on Palin for her parenting choices.