Are you worth it?

Many women struggle with spending money on themselves or investing money in their business ventures.  I see it in my clients, in my colleagues and in my friends.  While many would give the shirt off their backs to those in need or volunteer long hours if it meant “doing good”, most women I know go back and forth on hiring a business coach, spending money on personal development, buying a gym membership or a mountain bike to help with stress relief, paying for top notch marketing advice or getting a high quality web designer.  Yes, as women we have trouble investing in ourselves and our businesses. 

What holds us back? I think it comes down to our personal value, our self care and our ability to ask for help.  Yes, girls, I said ASKING FOR HELP.  As a gender we are not very good at asking but we are great at giving.  Women business owners give free consultations, free marketing advice, free workshops, free speaking, free leadership, etc.  Yes, we give a lot away.  Don’t worry.  I am right there with you all in the giving department.  I have even won volunteer of the year award in a profession that I got paid for everywhere else.  Call me the queen of the “I can help the most” department!

With the inception of KBK Connections, Inc. and my role as a money coach, I stopped giving it away for free.  Why?  Because I believe in self care and my self care involves being able to pay my mortgage and get compensated for my hard work.  I also believe that I have something of value to add to my clients’ situations, to a room of workshop participants or a group of business executives.  This was long in coming but I arrived a few years back and I tell you it feels good! 

I got here by working on my personal value and learning, although some days it is still difficult, to ask for help.   Now I give time away only if there an opportunity for me to grow from it.   Yes, I only give when I can get!  Are you thinking, “Boy, she is a witch?  It is okay if you did.  As women we have been socialized to keep each other in our place as small players in a man’s big world. I ask all of you to stop putting up with it and learn that it is okay to get something when we give something.  Healthy relationships, both personal and professional, are grounded in the concept of give and take.   Why is it we are as good as a gender at giving, but so bad at taking?

I am just one woman but I no longer accept unpaid coaching assignments, speaking engagements or leadership roles.  My self care, self worth and my commitment to be a role model as a money coach have all helped.  Yes, I have paid my dues but I think I paid too long.  Does this mean I don’t care about my clients, my sponsors or my business contacts? No.  In fact, it means I care enough to show up with the very best that I have and expect to be paid handsomely for it.

How about you?  Are you worth it?

Comments

[Susan Hammond]

KBK:

Amen Sister! I'll have to call you when I feel the itch to yet again give it away. If you were once the queen of it, I must be related.

Your post reminds me of the lines from the poem Liberation by Marianne Williamson:

"Your playing small doesn't serve the world..."

SCH

[Kathleen Kingsbury]

Call anytime!

kbk