The Downtown Women's Club womensDISH blog

Why your picture is worth a thousand words on social networks

Most of us put off having our picture taken because we never really like the results.  Yet, not having a professional photo is a bigger mistake now than it was several years ago  Why?  Because when it comes to Facebook, Twitter & other social networks, you photo is your  logo, company brand, and for the most part the one shot you have to attract your readers attention.

No matter what you think of our appearance, your best bet is to have a close-up picture of yourself smiling and here are a few reasons why:

1. On Facebook, that long-lost friend may only have your name and picture to go on when they search, so make sure they can tell it's you.
2. In the Facebook news feed or Twitter time line, where people get a constant stream of information, your friends and colleagues will start to recognize your posts by your picture.  These pictures are small, so you want them to be able to see you.  I would also recommend against frequently changing your picture often as people may not recognize your status updates and may miss your posts.
3. You should also consider using the same photo across different social networks.  As your networks grow, people may recognize you on one platform, like Twitter or LinkedIn, and look for you on the other.  It helps to make the connection if you use the same photo.
4. I’m really wary about putting photos of children on Facebook.  I put a few in my photo albums which are for only a limited group of friends to see.  However, I recommend against including them in your main profile photo.  Unless every single one of your Facebook friends has used their Privacy Settings to hide their friends in public searches, that photo is effectively in the public domain. Besides, we’re friends and business colleagues with you (not your children), and we want to see your smiling face in our news feed!
5. For more ideas about your photo, scan through your news feed on Facebook, or the Twitter timeline and see which photos catch your eye. 
   
6. As for why you should be smiling, well, let's just say no one wants to hang out with Mr. or Ms. Grumpypants in person ... or online.

Is your picture really worth 1,000 words?  I would say so, because if you can't capture anyone's attention with your photo, then it doesn't matter if you write 10,000 or more words. 

Looking for a photographer?  Click here to see a few of the photographers in our DWC+ Member Directory.

Diane K. Danielson is the founder and chief social media strategist of the Downtown Women's Club.  This post was based on an excerpt from The Downtown Women's Club Beginner's Guide to Facebook (eBook).  Free with a Downtown Women's Club DWC+ Premium membership.

Virtual glass floor? Gender & social networks

This week a fascinating set of data was released that shows women dominating social media.  Apparently, women outnumber men on Facebook, Twitter, FriendFeed, Flickr, Classmates, MySpace, Hi5 and del.icio.us.  Women tie men on LinkedIn, YouTube and Bebo.  The boys, however, do rule on Digg.

Here's a link to the full demographic breakdown of social networks: http://www.briansolis.com/2009/10/revealing-the-people-defining-social-networks/

And, here's a great visual: http://www.informationisbeautiful.net/2009/who-rules-the-social-web/

While this data is based on sheer numbers of people using the systems (not who is in charge, making money or has power and influence), it shouldn't be surprising.  After all, social media is all about facilitating communication and women are known communicators.

As I wrote the title to this post, I realized that a virtual glass floor is not the best visual.  First of all, some of the men I know probably wouldn't mind the view from down there (joking!!!). However, as pointed out above, it's not really a floor. We're just talking numbers, not power or influence.  Yet ... shouldn't numbers eventually equal power and influence????  It will be interesting to see how this unfolds. 

This is why it's not enough for women to just post a profile on LinkedIn.  We need women to use social networking platforms to voice their opinion and build their businesses.

To be honest, I was a bit hesitant about this post because I don't believe there should be glass floors or ceilings - it shouldn't be about gender at all - but talent, skill and capability.  Yet, we're not at equality yet in the places that count (the C-Suite) - despite more college graduates, more grad school graduates and now more social media participation.  But, perhaps demographics + social media will help us get there!

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Need help on social media and other communication skills?  Check out our upcoming Downtown Women's Club DWC+ Teleclasses.  DWC+ members can download over $1500 worth of previously recorded teleclasses on many social media topics!

DWC+ Teleclasses Free for DWC+ Premium members.  Non-DWC+ Members can purchase individual classes for $29/each. 10/8 at 12:00 noon EST - Marketing in the Facebook Era 10/15 at 12:00 noon EST - Throw Away Your Resume 10/22 at 12:00 noon EST - Perfect Your 15-Second Pitch 10/29 at 12:00 noon EST - 10 Tips to Starting a Business in this Economy 11/5 at 12:00 noon EST - Inside the Mind of the Gen Y Worker 11/12 at 12:00 noon EST - 8 Ways to Avoid Overeating During the Holidays Click here to RSVP or download previous teleclasses (DWC+ Premium members only). Need to upgrade to DWC+? Visit the DWC member center.

Book Review: What if Jane Austen was on Facebook?

A couple of years ago, my co-author Lindsey Pollak and I were struggling with how to write an engaging "how to online network" book.  Then we pondered:  what would Jane Austen do if she were a blogger?  The result:  The Savvy Gal's Guide to Online Networking (or What Would Jane Austen Do?). 

This is why when I heard about the book Ophelia Joined the Group Maidens Who Don't Float: Classic Lit Signs on to Facebook by Sarah Schmelling, I just had to get my hands on it.  Classic Lit + Social Media = Witty Fun!

Now, I took a bit of heat from some Jane Austen "purists" about how disgraceful it was to write a tech book with references to JA.  (Although, those with a sense of humor seemed to enjoy it!).  Nevertheless, my view is:  If we have to put JA into a "how to" tech book to get women to sign on and start using social networks, then bastardize classic lit we must!  And, if you can do it and have some fun, you should go for it.  This is exactly what Schmelling does in her hilarious book.

Schmelling takes classic literature characters and transports them into the modern world by imaging what they would do if handed a computer and access to Facebook.  She creates profiles, pages, news feeds, and has them interact with each other.   For the non-Facebook friendly, the title is a play off the fact that people who join Facebook usually join groups of like minded folks. Poor Ophelia of Hamlet fame would have been relegated to joining the groups of "Maidens who Don't Float;" not to be confused with the group "Men Who Float But Are Still Not Impervious to Bullets" which can count Jay Gatsby among its members.

Some of the sections worked better than others (meaning LOL funny).  What I found the most clever were generally:

• Those sections involving literature that I knew really well (Pride & Prejudice, Great Expectations, Jane Eyre, Anna Karenina, Gatsby, Lolita, Little Women); and
• Those that lent themselves to the genre (i.e. Romeo & Juliet due to the fact that they are teenagers; Lord of the Flies re: having a reunion; Ernest Hemingway and F. Scott Fitzgerald unfriending each other; and Mark Twain and Oscar Wilde trading "quips").

If you love literature and are familiar with Facebook, this is a great way to revisit the classics in a whole new light and have a few laughs along the way! Who can resist a chapter titled:  "Elizabeth threw a sheep at Mr. Darcy: The Love and Other Difficulties Network."   I couldn't.

Diane K. Danielson is the CEO of the Downtown Women's Clubs and the author of The Downtown Women's Club Beginner's Guide to Facebook.

Facebook and Friendship

A lot of people have sent me this Wall Street Journal article about how Facebook is ruining friendships.  One even cautioned after he sent it: "not that there's anything wrong with our friendship." This prompted me to think further about this.  I'm generally a very black and white type of person, and just accepted that people either got Facebook or they didn't, and if they fell into the latter, they either weren't interested in anything to do with technology, or were part of the more vocal "it's the end of the world" group. 

If people fell in the latter category, I just assumed that a couple of decades ago, they would've said the same thing about tape cassettes (vs. LPs) and answering machines.  They are part of the "change is scary" crowd and when it involves computers, it's even scarier.  Can't do much about those folks so I never try.  But, for those more in the "grey area" here is a bit of my experience with Facebook and friendship.

To be honest, I did not join Facebook to make friends.  I joined Facebook solely for business reasons, and for the most part I'm only on there a couple of times a day updating/monitoring our Downtown Women's Club Facebook page.  While on there, I may click on the notifications alert button and respond to anything that requires responding.  I leave most random trolling for late night "work breaks."  My updates during the day are feeds from this blog and posts from twitter, most of which are Downtown Women's Club-related. 

Why didn't I view Facebook as a place to make friends? Because most of my closest friends IRL (in real life) are not even on Facebook.  Or if they are, we rarely interact there.  This is why I was surprised to find that I have developed a couple of very close new friendships out of Facebook. And, I'm not talking "Facebook friendships," I'm talking real, actual, "these people know much more about my life than anything I would post on Facebook" type of friends.

Most of these are with people I knew from other walks of life, and while they may have had nothing to do with my work, now that I think of it, they all have helped me in some way with business.  A couple of these new "friendships" are also the result of me getting closer to people I met through business, and who have now moved from my "business" friend list to "friends and family."

Would I have gotten close to these folks without Facebook? Probably not.  Did I sacrifice other friendships to do so?  Not at all. Is my world better for knowing them? Absolutely.

How to build friendships on Facebook.

I agree that Facebook is not for everyone, and that the people I've developed real friendships with all have very similar qualities:

1.  They like to write.  The WSJ article points out that people can't express themselves well via the written word and that's why friendships can be ruined.  That may be the case for some people.  But, there's another group of us who express ourselves much better in writing than we do in person.  This may be why certain friendships develop on Facebook and others whither and die.

2.  They embrace technology and social media.  You will never make friends on Facebook if you do it half-heartedly.  That's like going to a dance and opting to be a wallflower.  Or joining a book club even though you hate to read.  Facebook is about engaging with others.  If that's not your thing, than there's really no need to be on Facebook. 

3.  They are interesting people who do interesting things.  The WSJ article complained about people who posted boring details about what they were doing every single minute of the day.  Well, sure there are people who do that (and after a while I start hiding their status updates), and no they are not people I've developed close friendships with.  But, my close friends?  Yes, I want to know that S is sitting in her hammock and I want to know what she's reading.  I want to see M's travel pics.  I want to hear what music G is listening to.  And I want to know what new gadget J just got because I might want one; or if D came up with another great cost-saving idea so I could afford J's gadget.  Because these are all things we'd talk about if we could ever put ourselves geographically in the same room to have coffee or a cocktail.

4. They all have terrific senses of humor.  My friends are funny and being able to check in for a laugh has never been easier. 

I agree that Facebook is not for everyone, but for some of us it does make our world a much better place. I also really liked the end of the WSJ article, which might be helpful in using Facebook to make friends.

... To improve our interactions, we need to change our conduct, not just cover it up. First, watch your own behavior, asking yourself before you post anything: "Is this something I'd want someone to tell me?" "Run it by that focus group of one," says Johns Hopkins's Dr. Wallace.

And positively reward others, responding only when they write something interesting, ignoring them when they are boring or obnoxious. (Commenting negatively will only start a very public war.)

If all that fails, you can always start a new group: "Get Facebook to Create an Eye-Roll Button Now!"

Click here to read the full WSJ article.

Diane K. Danielson is the ceo of the Downtown Women's Club and the author of the new ebook, The Downtown Women's Club Beginner's Guide to Facebook.  

Facebook for Parents - what you don't know can hurt your kids.

The following article is reprinted courtesy of The Cohasset Mariner.

Facebook for Parents
by Diane K. Danielson

“Son, it’s time we had a little chat.”
“Oh gross, Mom, I know all about the sex stuff.   I watch Animal Planet.”
“No, not that talk…”
“Please Mom, I get it ..  drugs will fry my brains … I’ve seen the commercials.”  
“Actually, what I need to talk to you about  … is Facebook.”

How many of the Digital Immigrants reading this (i.e. born before the Internet was invented) would have an easier time talking about sex and drugs than about Internet safety?  Well, you’re not alone.  But just because it isn’t easy, doesn’t mean we can’t do it.  It certainly helps to be familiar with MySpace, Facebook and other new technologies.  Yet, even though I’ve been working with social media since 2003, I still learned a few things in a recent lecture by the DA’s office about Internet safety. 

First off, there are two important concepts when it comes to kids and the Internet:

• YOU control your child’s access or lack of access to the technology.  It is not their personal right to be connected 24/7/365.
• Even the smartest kid can do stupid things online.

So, where does one begin when it comes to Internet safety?  No matter what your level of computer expertise, there are plenty of things you can do regardless of your child’s age (and if your child is old enough to play Webkinz, then you need to keep reading). 

Here are five steps you can take to help ensure your child uses the internet safely: