The Downtown Women's Club womensDISH blog

More mommy wars in and by the media

I guess it's unfair to blame Sarah Palin for reigniting the Mommy Wars.  Clearly the media hasn't had enough of this story and women have not refrained from condemning others for their choices.  I'm also a bit tired of the hypocrisy here.  No matter which ticket Palin was on, the other side would be crucifying her for the same thing - being a working mom.  Although I am getting a kick out of Phyllis Schlalfy suddenly deciding that it's ok for women to work.

At least I thought that the statement that the Boston Globe chose to wrap up their article with was right on target:

"There's a double standard," said Susan Reverby, a professor of women's studies at Wellesley College. "If she were a man with four [other] children and a teenage daughter who was pregnant, who would care? Who would even notice, frankly? I think this is all a real indication that we still can't figure out what to think about women and work. Anything sets it off."

Although, I think the Globe had a typo in their title.  They had "Again, they ask how mothers do it all."  In fact, it should have read, "Again, WE ask how mothers do it all."  Not sure who the infamous "they" to whom they refer represents.

Leave it to the NY Times to relaunch the Mommy Wars

I never thought I would see the day when I would be in agreement with Phyllis Schlafley ... OMG, did I just write that?  Well, today's NYTimes revisited their favorite issue - stirring up the Mommy Wars with regard to VP candidate Sarah Palin.

Now I have a lot of reasons why I'm not comfortable with Palin being a potential VP, but the fact she is a mom has absolutely nothing to do with it.  In truth, what better training is there to deal with the squabbling childish antics that politics has become, than someone who has a whole brood to manage.  And you want to know about time management, delegation, being authoratative while maintaining respect?  Ask a mother of five, like my cousin.  She has to follow a strict budget and doesn't have time to waste with senseless negotiations and her children are the better for it.

But, the NYTimes article, A New Twist in the Long-Running Debate on Mothers, focuses on how women are criticizing Palin for leaving her children to pursue higher office (esp. when one has special needs).  They also bring up the fact that she went back to work 3 days after one of her children were born.  When did that become neglectful parenting?  Many places in America still don't have maternity leave policies, so if it's so bad shouldn't we be focusing on that, rather than a few women who choose not to take it when offered?

Maybe some women aren't meant to be the nurturing baby type.  Personally, I was proofing memos less than a week after a c-section and I cut my maternity leave short not due to finances, but because I needed some normalcy in my life.  Work, I was good at.  Diapers and crying (the baby kind), not so much ... 

But back to me and Phyllis.  I actually thought she nailed it right on the head:

“People who don’t have children or who have only one or two are kind of overwhelmed at the notion of five children,” Ms. Schlafly continued, mentioning that she had raised six children and run for Congress as well. “I think a hard-working, well-organized C.E.O. type can handle it very well.”

Now, I'm sure Phyllis wouldn't be singing that tune if the candidate didn't represent her pro-life and other anti-woman views.  But, this time, and this time only I agree with her.  It's up to the individual to gauge her own capabilities and support system and make the right choice for her and her family whatever it might be. 

So, here's my question to the NYTimes - did someone forget that she's married???????

There are many families, even in my conservative little suburb, where the men are the stay at home parent.  Throughout the article, there isn't there any acknowledgement or praise for what her husband (the snowmobiling, commercial fisherman) is doing to pull it all together.  She's not a single parent, she has a partner in this.  If the two roles were reversed would I even be having to write this blog post?

The NYTimes writes that:

In all of Washington, there is perhaps one person whose life most resembles the one that Ms. Palin is pursuing: Representative Cathy McMorris Rodgers, Republican of Washington and mother of an infant son with Down syndrome. Ms. Rodgers cheered Ms. Palin’s entry into the race, saying it would draw attention to the policy needs of children and families.

Now, did anyone poll the fathers in Washington?

I'm just asking, y'know?

**More discussion on this over at the MomsatWork blog.